What are your flaws as a human being?

[PhutureDynasty]

You don't have to get too personal with it if you do not want to.

I would say I care too much about what others think and I don't trust in my own opinions enough. So I can be indecisive.

I also worry too much about trivial issues and tend to make them seem worse than they ultimately are.

That's all I thought of off the top of my head but I obviously have more that I haven't thought of yet.

How about you?

Also, let's keep this civil. No need to provoke others. We are entirely capable of doing this without being at each other's throats.

[Robceltsfan]

[PhutureDynasty]

So Rob is conceited.

[Robceltsfan]

So Rob is conceited.

You misspelled honest!

[PhutureDynasty]

So Rob is conceited.

You misspelled honest!

[Bush4Ever.]

My main flaw early in life was being too in my head.

My most persistent flaw in life has been being unreasonably hard on myself.

"Treat yourself like you would treat a friend"--good advice in terms of overcoming that particular behavior.

Self-compassion has been critical (for me).

[PhutureDynasty]

My main flaw early in life was being too in my head.

My most persistent flaw in life has been being unreasonably hard on myself.

"Treat yourself like you would treat a friend"--good advice in terms of overcoming that particular behavior.

Self-compassion has been critical (for me).

Understanding the issue and trying to fix it is half the battle.

Is it safe to say you were a perfectionist?

[Bush4Ever.]

Is it safe to say you were a perfectionist?

And beyond that tying things to my self-worth/self-esteem that shouldn't be, or at least way, way less.

[PhutureDynasty]

Is it safe to say you were a perfectionist?

And beyond that tying things to my self-worth/self-esteem that shouldn't be, or at least way, way less.

What have you done to fix it if you don't mind me asking?

Also, wouldn't you say that training martial arts would help you stay grounded and humble? Or would you also deal with that flaw when training and rolling?

[Bush4Ever.]

What have you done to fix it if you don't mind me asking?

Also, wouldn't you say that training martial arts would help you stay grounded and humble? Or would you also deal with that flaw when training and rolling?

A lot of cognitive behavioral therapy, introspection, and having a reasonably good support system. Being intentional regarding therapy and application to regular life helps.

It helps to some degree. With BJJ, I had a slight headstart from Judo, but unless you have a very particular background, you are going to get tapped almost nonstop for several months when you start. If you are someone who can't deal with surface-level "failure" (which it's not), you are going to struggle. Ditto with being a casual hobbyist and rolling with younger more athletic guys who compete-compete, etc...

Challenging cognition around "failure" has been important. One thing my old therapist used to say was "zoom out". Meaning, I was evaluating myself against standards (like a high level black belt, a superstar scientist, being a perfect father/husband, etc...) that were radically high. Thus, zooming out and comparing myself to more reasonable and relaxed standards helps me frame things more realistically (being able to outgrapple > 99 percent of people in my peer group, being more professionally accomplished than most, etc...).

I tend to think martial arts will help you learn the lesson if you are ready to receive it, but doesn't do much if you aren't ready to receive it. There are plenty of martial artists and fighters who are basket cases who can simply fight well.

[manchild98]

I don't ever want to be invited to any event ever. I just want to stay home as much as possible. I only want to leave the house under my own terms....not because I have to attend something. I don't like 99% of the things a regular person would perceive as fun. I'm against having fun. I just want to be left alone.

[Havlicekstealsit]

Dunno if it's a flaw, but I tend to neglect my own internal health, focusing more on trying to keep my father alive. And maybe my wallet too - been traveling back & forth from NC to NY to do such.

[Robceltsfan]

Dunno if it's a flaw, but I tend to neglect my own internal health, focusing more on trying to keep my father alive. And maybe my wallet too - been traveling back & forth from NC to NY to do such.

Damn bro....hit me up on your way through one time. We'll watch a Celtics playoff win together!

[PhutureDynasty]

What have you done to fix it if you don't mind me asking?

Also, wouldn't you say that training martial arts would help you stay grounded and humble? Or would you also deal with that flaw when training and rolling?

A lot of cognitive behavioral therapy, introspection, and having a reasonably good support system. Being intentional regarding therapy and application to regular life helps.

It helps to some degree. With BJJ, I had a slight headstart from Judo, but unless you have a very particular background, you are going to get tapped almost nonstop for several months when you start. If you are someone who can't deal with surface-level "failure" (which it's not), you are going to struggle. Ditto with being a casual hobbyist and rolling with younger more athletic guys who compete-compete, etc...

Challenging cognition around "failure" has been important. One thing my old therapist used to say was "zoom out". Meaning, I was evaluating myself against standards (like a high level black belt, a superstar scientist, being a perfect father/husband, etc...) that were radically high. Thus, zooming out and comparing myself to more reasonable and relaxed standards helps me frame things more realistically (being able to outgrapple > 99 percent of people in my peer group, being more professionally accomplished than most, etc...).

I tend to think martial arts will help you learn the lesson if you are ready to receive it, but doesn't do much if you aren't ready to receive it. There are plenty of martial artists and fighters who are basket cases who can simply fight well.

That makes perfect sense. I think that the humbling in martial arts is what leads to a lot of people leaving or stopping early because they can't handle being the lowest on the totem pole and having to work their way up while getting tapped A LOT on the journey. Some people love the challenge and strive to get to the point where they can do what's being done to them and others don't want to put the work in and quit.

I've done CBT therapy myself. It's helpful in retraining the way your mind thinks about things but it can be tough at first to break your initial bad habits. You need to be able to zoom out, as you said, and think rationally at a time when your mind normally does not think rationally. It's hard at first but like any skill it requires training.

[Da Stars.]

To many to list. Other than the fact I drink to much. But this 43 year old woman might give me a heart attack. I guess life is good.

And I take losing to fucking seriously.

[lettherebehouse]

Being racist

[Titan18]

I hate cats with a fiery passion. Not just in the “I don’t want to ever have a cat” kind of way but I’d prefer if every cat on this planet disappeared tomorrow and ceased to exist.

Sorry not sorry. Fuck cats

[Da Stars.]

I hate cats with a fiery passion. Not just in the “I don’t want to ever have a cat” kind of way but I’d prefer if every cat on this planet disappeared tomorrow and ceased to exist.

Sorry not sorry. Fuck cats

Pussy killer. Does your wife know you don't like Pussy Cats?

[PhutureDynasty]

Dunno if it's a flaw, but I tend to neglect my own internal health, focusing more on trying to keep my father alive. And maybe my wallet too - been traveling back & forth from NC to NY to do such.

Yea definitely don't want to completely lose focus on your own health but obviously keeping your father alive is important too. Gotta try and find a balance that still keeps both of you going.

Money will always come though assuming you have a steady job so if it's for your dad then do it.

[PhutureDynasty]

I hate cats with a fiery passion. Not just in the “I don’t want to ever have a cat” kind of way but I’d prefer if every cat on this planet disappeared tomorrow and ceased to exist.

Sorry not sorry. Fuck cats

Ok. At least your honest I guess.

Just don't go psycho on the things.

Avoid them if you don't like them.