Desperate Orlando Magic fan makes a plea to LeBron James on r/nba

[somberbostonian]

This shitpost got 14.7k+ upvotes on Reddit.

Why Lebron James should come to the Orlando Magic: A last plea.
Dear Mr. Bron,

Look bitch, I'm gonna cut it straight. I don't have a fancy pitch like the rest of these teams. I'm just gonna be real. We're desperate dude. The troops are low on morale and I don't think they'll survive another winter like this. I know we don't have much, but I'm gonna try to at least show you what we have. Any help will do. We'll even take Bronny Jr. Right now.

We've got young meat who will do literally whatever you say. - We've got a lot of talent, and absolutely no ego whatsoever. We're the South Central Louisiana State Mud Dogs of the NBA. You can make the rest of the team wash your feet between quarters and they'd do it. This will be a drama free zone. You're the king and they are your squires. But like, please don't abuse this power and sell anyone into human trafficking rings or anything. I know Evan's got a pretty mouth but don't okay

Orlando is a trash city just like Cleveland - Look, you're an Ohio boy through and through. You'd hate Los Angeles. Buncha liberal hippies with their "activated charcoal" and their "functioning state government" and all that other PC nonsense. You dont need that in your life. Plus those taxes are you kidding me? Nobody in Florida pays taxes. If you can prove to the state that you're physically capable of tackling a gator, you don't have to pay state taxes.

We're about as physically far away from Golden State as you can get.

..."But what about Miami?" - Miami can eat my ass. You've already been there Bron. They're gonna expect 2010 Bron and when father time eventually catches up with you in 2050 they're gonna riot and start calling you names in spanish. You don't want that kinda stress in your life. Anybody who would call you names in spanish lives far away in Kissimmee. We will protect you.

The kids love Disney - You're a family man now Bron. Think about the kids. I mean who wouldn't love all year access to Disney World? Who doesn't love 10 dollar bottles of water and roaving hoardes of Brazilian teens yelling at birds and stuff? It's great for the whole family.

No rush bron. I'm just sayin, think about it.

[gaskill15]

I claim first post in this here Thread of the Year candidate.

[elartman1973]

One dumb fan...one super dumb poster...
End of thread

[LeBronMonsterDunk]

Orlando is a trash city just like Cleveland

Coming from the mouth of an Orlandoean and Major Magic fan you know this is true.

[elartman1973]

Orlando is a trash city just like Cleveland

Coming from the mouth of an Orlandoean and Major Magic fan you know this is true.

Ummm...nope.
Orlando is ten times better than Cleveland and charlotte

Fake

[LookAway]

[quote="gaskill15"]I claim first post in this here Thread of the Year candidate.[/quote
This is pathetic even by Orlando's standards

[Da Stars.]

I claim first post in this here Thread of the Year candidate.

Hell no. Thread of the year is Undies exposing BC as a fraud. Not even close.

[elmouse03]

So is this what swamp has been doing since leaving the board?

[CleveTown™]

lol

[LNS]

“Look bitch” is a really great opening. Do the residents there seriously drink the swamp water?

[elartman1973]

“Look bitch” is a really great opening. Do the residents there seriously drink the swamp water?

Its fake...look who the Op is
Smh

[LNS]

“Look bitch” is a really great opening. Do the residents there seriously drink the swamp water?

Its fake...look who the Op is
Smh

Yeah somberbostonian is really known for trolling around here.

[somberbostonian]

Yeah somberbostonian is really known for trolling around here.

Guess Autism didn't catch the embedded Reddit link in the OP, so here it is in raw form.

" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[elartman1973]

Yeah somberbostonian is really known for trolling around here.

Guess Autism didn't catch the embedded Reddit link in the OP, so here it is in raw form.

" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Don't matter...one moron doesn't represent the city or the team...not sure why you actually think he does...enough to even post it
Smh

[Thedictator]

Yeah somberbostonian is really known for trolling around here.

Guess Autism didn't catch the embedded Reddit link in the OP, so here it is in raw form.

" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Don't matter...one moron doesn't represent the city or the team...not sure why you actually think he does...enough to even post it
Smh

Orlando is a trash city

Just accept reality

[elartman1973]

Guess Autism didn't catch the embedded Reddit link in the OP, so here it is in raw form.

" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Don't matter...one moron doesn't represent the city or the team...not sure why you actually think he does...enough to even post it
Smh

Orlando is a trash city

Just accept reality

Ummm.not even remotely close...its a bad ass city with a bigger university than Columbus but OSU basically defines Columbus meanwhile we hardly even notice UCF...we have too much other shit going on...lol at your life

[Thedictator]

Don't matter...one moron doesn't represent the city or the team...not sure why you actually think he does...enough to even post it
Smh

Orlando is a trash city

Just accept reality

Ummm.not even remotely close...its a bad ass city with a bigger university than Columbus but OSU basically defines Columbus meanwhile we hardly even notice UCF...we have too much other shit going on...lol at your life

It’s trash

We

[elartman1973]

Orlando is a trash city

Just accept reality

Ummm.not even remotely close...its a bad ass city with a bigger university than Columbus but OSU basically defines Columbus meanwhile we hardly even notice UCF...we have too much other shit going on...lol at your life

It’s trash

We

Great...don't ever come here...thanks

[elartman1973]

It's funny how everyone in Orlando except artman is ashamed of the city and admits life sucks there

Terrible troll attempt from a guy who can't even afford to live in cheap ass austin

[ripper76]

I feel embarrassed for Orlando.